| 25 August 2009
Alright boys. Theo's up to his old tricks again...
Sup boss?
Apparently, Theo is addicted to this "low risk/high reward" crap and he's eyeing another rehab project named Billy Wagner.
But isn't Wagner a closer?
Says him.
And aren't you our closer?
Damn straight. Theory is, the brass think we need another lefty out here since the Yankees have a couple hundred in their lineup and we're gonna have to go through the Bronx if we want a shot at another ring.
But Wagner's like 15 saves away from 400... no way he settles for a setup role with us.
Well he better, 'cause there's only one Captain of this ship and it's Big Daddy Paps!
So what are you gonna do?
I already told those media clowns that I ain't about to let Theo pull another Gagne on us, and that seemed to get Old Man Wagner riled up.
Bottom Line: The guy's been saving meaningless games in the NL for 15 years... big whoop. The one time he managed to make it to October was in 2006... and he choked.
But what of Theo makes the move anyway? Won't that mean that one of us gets cut?
Don't get your panties in a bunch Bard. When people started that "closer of the future" talk, I just busted out that voodoo doll I picked up Haiti this off season and a few needles later you came right back to earth didn't you?
Huh?
Forget it. The point is, this Wagner thing is a little more serious, so I sent my best guys to take care of it.
:: cut to Billy Wanger tied up in his hotel room with a ninja on either side and a phone in his hand... ::
Listen Bean! Just tell Theo that I don't want my $8 million dollar option picked up and that I want to save my arm and test the market in 2010.
But you aren't going to prove anything pitching for the Mets in September Billy!
:: similtaneously pull out their swords... ::
Just tell them Bean, okay!?!
:: cut back to Paps and the gang... ::
By lunch time today, Wagner will be on his way to Florida with the Mets... with his pitching hand... or without it.
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