| 12 August 2010
Okay... he had a lot of help here, but collecting all of the "Adrian Beltre Facts" into one blog post was genius.
Early in Thursday afternoon’s game, a wave of “Adrian Beltre Facts” - modeled after the phenomenon of the “Chuck Norris Facts” and their various offshoots - took off on Twitter. Below are a few of the best assorted Red Sox writers and fans had to offer:
* Adrian Beltre has never hit into a fielder’s choice. The choice is up to him.
* Adrian Beltre hasn’t made 15 errors. The official scorers have.
* The reason Adrian Beltre throws flat-footed is to slow down the rotation of the earth.
* NASA solved its early problems by having Adrian Beltre throw the capsules into space.
* With the roof open at Rogers Centre, the sun isn’t beating down on Adrian Beltre. Adrian Beltre is beating down on the sun.
* Carl Everett thinks that Adrian Beltre is made up, just like the dinosaurs and outer space.
* Adrian Beltre doesn’t use a cup — to drink hot coffee.
* The ball that hit Adrian Beltre in the groin last season was put in protective custody, just in case.
* Adrian Beltre doesn’t like anybody touching his head because he’s afraid he’ll break their hands.
* Even Chuck Norris is afraid to touch Adrian Beltre’s head.
* Even Adrian Beltre’s helmet is afraid to touch his head.
* The Big Bang was a result of God touching Adrian Beltre’s head.
* Adrian Beltre developed a new diagnostic tool for the medical staff: The Collide-A-Scope.
* Adrian Beltre once collided with himself. It was before Game 3 of the 1989 World Series.
* Adrian Beltre is the reason McDonalds discontinued the McRibs.
* Adrian Beltre once watched Delta Force on TV. Chuck Norris woke up the next day with three broken ribs.
* Adrian Beltre thinks it’s called a “pillow contract” because you can use it to suffocate sleeping enemies.
* Adrian Beltre is the reason baseballs need stitches.
* The reason you kneel when you pray is because Adrian Beltre kneels when he swings.
* When the Blue Jays wanted to open the roof, they asked Beltre to hit a pop-up in batting practice.
* It took Adrian Beltre only four swings to demolish the old Yankee Stadium.
* Adrian Beltre pulled a ball to the opposite field.
* Adrian Beltre only appeals to umpires on checked swings so they can feel important.
* Adrian Beltre didn’t just understand the “Sopranos” finale. He lived it.
* Scott Boras is actually an Adrian Beltre client.
* Customs officials will have to show Adrian Beltre their passports at the airport tonight.
* Adrian Beltre won “Connect 4″ in three moves.
* When Adrian Beltre does a postgame interview, he asks the questions.
* Adrian Beltre doesn’t wear spikes. The ground knows the only way to survive is not to let go.
Update: Here's an even longer list... there are some gems in here like: "Adrian Beltre can touch MC Hammer."
Enjoy.
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